Suffering in silence...

This week has been.... difficult, to say the least. My medication is causing tons of issues that are interfering with my everyday life. I can't sleep properly. When I finally do, I can't get out of bed. When I'm at work, I'm passing out at my desk from nausea or fatigue. My arms and legs are constantly locking up and hindering my ability to move.

This has likely been the worst week since I've lived in Nevada. Tomorrow is medication day, I take Methotrexate. Which is a powerful chemotherapy drug which is also used in abortions. (I tell you that so you can realize how brutal it really is). I called the doctor yesterday, he suggested to "up my dosage". Which is nearly impossible, seeing as how I'm basically at the maximum dosage that is recommended for my age. Great, did the doctor just tell me to overdose myself?

Please, I sit here suffering in silence. I'm in an excruciatingly high amount of pain. And yet, the rest of the world functions like this is the best day ever. No one in this office will every TRULY understand that I have a multitude of INVISIBLE ILLNESSES.